New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; St Albans Counselling

Online Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples in St. Albans, Hertfordshire

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; Counselling St Albans; Relationships, Anxiety, Depression & Trauma

Online Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples in St. Albans, Hertfordshire

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; Counselling St Albans; Relationships, Anxiety, Depression & Trauma

Online Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples in St. Albans, Hertfordshire

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; Counselling St Albans; Relationships, Anxiety, Depression & Trauma

Online Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples in St. Albans, Hertfordshire

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; Counselling St Albans; Relationships, Anxiety, Depression & Trauma

Online Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples in St. Albans, Hertfordshire

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; Counselling St Albans; Relationships, Anxiety, Depression & Trauma

Online Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples in St. Albans, Hertfordshire

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Counselling St Albans for Individuals & Couples

For Better Relationships

Do you struggle with not feeling good enough?

 

Are you kind to others but extremely critical about yourself?

 

Are you a people pleaser, even when it is at your own expense?

 

Do you spend so much time being there for others that you forget about yourself? 

 

Do you need your own space to talk and be heard without the fear of judgement?

 

If some of these feelings resonate, then counselling can be the right fit for you.

 

A warm welcome to you and thank you for visiting New Frame Counselling and Psychotherapy.

My name is Lizandra Leigertwood and I'm an experienced counsellor and psychotherapist in St Albans, Herts.

St Albans Counselling; Lizandra Leigertwood Relationship Counsellor & Psychotherapist in Hertfordshire

 

I help people to improve their relationships,

whether that's the relationship that you have with yourself,

or the relationships that you have with others.

 

Therapy Can Help You 

 

 Improve your self awareness 

 

 Learn practical coping strategies  

 

Challenge the negative or critical thoughts and behaviours that hold you back

 

 Become Self Compassionate 

 

Develop healthy boundaries and have equality in your relationships 

 

 

 

Counselling St Albans

 

My private counselling practice is based in Hertfordshire, St Albans which is easily accessible from nearby areas such as Hemel Hempstead, Watford, Potters Bar, Kings Langley, Harrow, Finchley, Barnet and North London.

I am also available online, meaning that I can work with you from anywhere in the UK. 

I work with individuals over the age of eighteen and couples for short-term counselling or longer-term psychotherapy.

 

Ready to book your online counselling session?

 

Individual Counselling

Focusing on self care, personal development and coping strategies for emotional resilience for a variety of issues

 

Couples Counselling

Improving communication, emotional connection and intimacy in committed relationships. 

 

Relationship Issues

Improving relationships with family members and those who are important to you

 

Trauma

Trauma informed therapy for emotional & physical abuse,  healing narcissistic abuse and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress)

 

Anxiety

Understand your anxiety and develop practical techniques to manage anxiety, panic and overwhelm (includes cognitive behavioural techniques CBT)

 

Online Counselling

Online Counselling from the comfort of your own home. All you need is a phone/laptop/tablet and a good internet connection.

My special interest areas are working with relationships, anxiety and trauma. 

I am an integrative relational therapist, which means I am able to use different ways of working to create an individual therapy experience that is catered to you.

 

Through counselling you can:

  • Learn effective ways to communicate
  • Identify what your needs are and get them met
  • Feel calmer when facing stressful situations
  • Develop problem solving skills
  • Increase your confidence and self esteem

 

Maybe you want to feel better about some difficult family relationships and move on from past hurtful experiences.

Perhaps you feel that you react out of anger or resentment and would like to make a change, or you feel unable to make a decision or feel like you make the wrong choices.

I'm a firm believer in hope and the power to change, you don't have to go through difficult times alone.

Counselling can help you to hear your own voice and make sense of what it is that is causing you distress.

Please contact me for a free initial 15-minute telephone consultation to discuss your individual needs and to see how therapy can help you.

 

 

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
– Dr Martin Luther King Jr.

About Me

St Albans Counselling: My name is Lizandra Leigertwood and I am a fully qualified counsellor and psychotherapist. I help individuals and couples to have better relationships in St Albans, Hertfordshire.

How Counselling and Psychotherapy Can Help

St Albans Counselling; Counselling St Albans, Hertfordshire.

New Frame

Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in the same or similar situations - perhaps you are feeling unsatisfied in your relationships – feeling used, unheard or just misunderstood. It can be difficult to expect others to change without knowing more about our selves and what we can do to sustain healthier relationships. We can’t always change the situation, but we can learn, develop and change how we deal with difficulty. Counselling and Psychotherapy can facilitate in finding a new frame of reference, which can reframe your experience, helping you to find clarity and understanding.

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; St Albans Counselling

New Hope

This is the first step towards help and change. Counselling can provide a confidential, safe and non-judgemental environment to fully explore your wants and needs. Together, we can work towards finding new ways to improve your relationships with others, and most importantly, your self.

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; Counselling St Albans Hertfordshire. Therapy for anxiety, depression and relationships

New Perspective

The therapeutic relationship offers a unique experience where you are able to develop personal insight and awareness. This is facilitated by understanding how past experiences can impact the present. Understanding our patterns of thought and behaviour can lead toward lasting positive change so that you can lead a happier and more fulfilling life.

Ready to book a counselling consultation? Please enter your details below:

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The Truth about Narcissism; Counselling in St Albans

The Truth about Narcissism

I interrupt usual scheduling to celebrate over 2000 of you lovely lot!
Thank you for following, liking and commenting on my posts.
All the saves, all the times you repost or send it to a friend.
I see it and appreciate it 🙏🏾You can’t see it but I am actually doing a little happy dance.I’ll keep posting more of the same but I’d love to hear if there are more posts that you’d like to see here and I’ll do what I can to deliver.What do you want to see more of?Self care?Relationships?Self love?Hit me up with your suggestions
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#2kfollowers #instatherapy #counselling #psychotherapy #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #therapymatters #emotionalwellbeing #traumarecovery #childhoodtrauma #selfcarematters #mentalhealthadvocate #empaths #relationships #relationshiptherapy #healthyrelationships #toxicrelationships #relationaltrauma #emotionalintelligence #newframetherapy #stalbans
63 19
What is the point in journaling?⠀
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There are so many benefits to journaling, it’s a great tool for helping with anxiety and when you combine it with a daily gratitude practice, scientific research suggests it can help you to experience more positive emotions and improve your emotional wellbeing. ⠀
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If you’d like to try it but not sure where to start, you can use this simple sentence starter to write down 3 things you are grateful for. ⠀
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Today I am grateful for....⠀
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You can start with your 3 things for a week and see how that feels ⠀
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Do you already practice journaling? ⠀
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Add your favourite journal prompts below to help someone else who might need some further ideas 💙⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⠀
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#journalinspiration #journalprompts #creativejournaling #journalingcommunity #journalideas #journallove #creativejournal #gratitudepractice #selfreflective #selflove #selfloveclub #selfvalidation #selfawareness #mindfulness #selfreflection #knowthyself #selfwork #emotionalwellbeing #anxietytips #anxietyhelp #overcominganxiety #emotionalintelligence #selfcareis #selfcarematters #buildingresilience #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram
38 3
WHY PEOPLE FIND IT HARD TO ACCEPT YOUR BOUNDARIES ⠀
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Do you ever feel like you try to set boundaries but it feels really uncomfortable or you feel like you are not listened to? ⠀
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This might be why. ⠀
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Do any of these points resonate with you? ⠀
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Let me know in the comments⠀
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#boundaries #healthyboundaries #settingboundaries #setboundaries #relationships #healthyrelationships #toxicrelationships #relationaltrauma #complextrauma #redflags #emotionalhealth #emotionalwellbeing #peoplepleasing
#peoplepleaser #toxicfriends #toxicpeople #narcississtfree #traumabond #narcissist  #traumarecovery #healing #selfvalue #selfworth #selfcompassion #selfwork⠀
#therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #therapist #blacktherapist #newframetherapy
62 9
Hi 👋🏾 just a friendly reminder that Black Lives Still Matter.
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📸 credit: This dope pic is an actual cookie made by @cakesbyjules_ @doughp.girl
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#noapologies #empathsstandup #allysstandup #silenceisviolence #selfacceptance #selfworth #selflove #endracism #blackmentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #weallhavementalhealth #emotionalhealth #blacktherapist #therapyforblackgirls #emotionalwellbeing #traumahealing #traumarecovery #generationaltrauma #generationalhealing #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram
239 16
4 WAYS TO IMPROVE LISTENING TO YOUR SPOUSE⁠⠀
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Communication is often one of the most common challenges that couples say negatively impacts their relationship.⁠⠀
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If you’re distracted when you’re trying to talk about something emotive, it won’t go down well. ⁠⠀
It looks like you’re uninterested or not invested in the conversation and will immediately trigger a negative response. ⁠⠀
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Just changing your body language, focus and the language you use can make a huge difference in actually being heard. ⁠⠀
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Tip 1. Open Body Language ⁠⠀
Tip 2. Maintain Eye Contact⁠⠀
Tip 3. Remove Distractions⁠⠀
Tip 4. Ask Clarifying Questions⁠⠀
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These 4 simple tips can help to improve the way that you communicate with your spouse. ⁠⠀
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Give it a try this week and see if you can notice the difference ⁠⠀
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#relationships #healthyrelationships #trust #love #connection #commitment #intimacy #values #attachment #secureattachment #lovelanguages #marriage #childhoodexperiences #couplescounselling #relationshiptherapy #relationshipcoaching #relationshiptips #relationshiptalk #marriagecounselling #couplegoals #relationshipgoals #boundaries #healthyboundaries #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #newframetherapy #stalbans
68 6
When you think a post is going to share something deep and meaningful, but really it's just about garlic bread. ⁠⠀
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#wednesdayfeels #midweekvibes #midweekmotivation #justjokes #counselling #psychotherapy #psychotherapist #relationshiptherapy #relationshiptherapist #couplestherapy #couplescounselling #relationshipsbelike #relationshipproblems #relationshipcoaching #attachment #attachmentissues #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #therapymatters #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
210 33
SETTING BOUNDARIES CAN LOOK LIKE⁠⠀
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Setting boundaries can look like honouring what you need and protecting your peace. ⁠⠀
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You are allowed to want your space and set limitations on how accessible you are 💖💙⠀
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#boundaries #healthyboundaries #settingboundaries #relationships #healthyrelationships #toxicrelationships #overwhelm #relationaltrauma #complextrauma #redflags #emotionalhealth #emotionalwellbeing #abusiverelationship #covertnarcississist #toxicfriends #toxicpeople #narcississtfree #traumabond #narcissist  #traumarecovery #healing #respect #autonomy #selfvalue #selfworth #selfcare #selfcompassion #selfwork #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram
264 10
Starting therapy can be the hardest part, but aside from showing up every week for your session, it can be equally valuable to process your feelings in between the sessions to get the most out of your experience. ⁠⠀
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If you are in therapy or you're thinking about it, these are just a few suggestions that can help. ⁠⠀
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I still have a few client spaces available, so if you've reached a point of feeling ⁠⠀
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➡️ Overwhelmed ⁠⠀
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➡️ Stressed⁠⠀
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➡️ Anxious ⁠⠀
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➡️ Negative thinking is getting in the way ⁠⠀
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➡️ Your inner critic is in overdrive⁠⠀
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💙 I can help. ⁠⠀
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You can get in touch to book an online consultation with me. ⁠⠀Visit the booking button in my bio to see my availability and book an online therapy session. ⁠⠀
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#therapy #therapyhelps #therapyheals #therapyworks #therapyisselfcare #ultimateselfcare #selfcarematters #selfcompassion #selfwork #emotionalhealth ##selfcompassion #grounding #anxietyrecovery #traumahealing #buildingresilience #perfectionistproblems #impostersyndrome #anxietysupport #mentalhealth #emotionalwellbeing #trusttheprocess #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #therapymatters #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
58 2
SIGNS OF MANIPULATION⁠⠀
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Toxic people who are manipulative are experts at making you feel as though you are the one with the problem when you are simply calling out their BS. ⁠⠀
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They can be very controlling during times of conflict, by trying to dictate the way that you express yourself and then invalidate your feelings when you do.⁠⠀
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Toxic people do not want to hear you try to set boundaries or express your viewpoint if it doesn’t fit in with their own agenda.Is there anything else that you would add to this?
Let me know in the comments
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#narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #narcissistabuse #npdsurvivor #npdawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #traumabonding #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #tonepolicing #abuseawareness #lovebombing #covertabuse #toxicrelationships #toxicfamily #relationaltrauma #traumatherapy #emotionalabuse #traumarecovery #traumahealing #empaths #violenceagainstwomen #narcawareness #narcopath #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmother #newframetherapy #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram
323 8
Do you have a daily mantra that protects your peace and emotional wellbeing? ⠀
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Protecting your peace can also look like making yourself unavailable to what is toxic. ⠀
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Add an emoji if you agree.⠀
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#protectyourpeace #protectyourenergy #empaths #empathsbelike #toxicenergy #empathsofinstagram #emotionalwellbeing #heathyrelationships #boundaries #healthyboundaries #setboundaries #selfesteem #selfesteemboost #knowyourworth #emotionalintelligence #selfawareness #selfawarenessjourney #traumahealing #peoplepleasing #impostersyndrome #innercritic #selfcompassion #selfwork #selfcarematters #therapistsofinstagram #blacktherapist #counsellorsofinstagram #onlinetherapist
119 24
SIGNS YOU ARE ON THE PATH TO HEALING⁠⠀
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Putting the work into healing and self discovery can be an empowering and rewarding journey. ⠀
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We can have high expectations of what the journey should look like, maybe you haven’t reached as far as you wanted to, it takes as long as it takes which in itself is part of the process. ⁠⠀
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Reflecting on how far you’ve come and the changes you've made is a valuable part of the process. ⁠⠀
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#healing #pathtohealing #healingjourney #trusttheprocess #emotionalwellbeing #resilence #yourestrongerthanyouthink #empath #empathjourney #relationaltrauma #trauma #traumahealing #overcomingtrauma #generationaltrauma #traumainformed #traumarecovery #complextrauma #childhoodtrauma #toxicfamily #toxicrelationships #unhealthyrelationships #healthyrelationships #emotionaldysregulation #emotionalwellbeing #emotionalintelligence #emotionalliteracy #selfawareness #selfwork #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy
87 4
I don’t usually read autobiographies, at least I haven't in years but I received this book as a Mother Day Present and what a gift it was. ⁠⠀
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I loved reading about Michelle Obama’s authentic journey as a successful and inspiring black woman, it encouraged me to think about my own personal story (of course, I’m a therapist so I’m always thinking about the process).⁠⠀
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*side note* I’m channeling holiday vibes from last summer 😎⠀
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If you haven’t had a chance to read it yet, this is a good one to add to your list. ⁠⠀
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If you have read it, what did you think? ⁠⠀
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#becoming #michelleobama #autobiography #holidayread #authenticity #authenticself #selfawareness #selfawarenessjourney #selfreflection #innerwork #selfacceptance #selflove #selflovejourney #selfwork #trusttheprocess #emotionalintelligence #emotionalwellbeing #therapist #therapistlife #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram
59 6
5 SIGNS OF RELATIONAL TRAUMA⁠
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**Trigger Warning**⁠
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I wanted to add a trigger warning to this post so that you can be mindful of what comes up for you if you have never considered any of these to be a trauma response.⁠We can normalise what has happened to us because it's "not that bad"  or "other people have had it worse".⁠Normalising can be a way of protecting or distancing yourself from emotional pain.Tag or send this to someone who needs to see this.
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174 13
This one made me laugh because I so get it. ⁠⠀
Anyone else?⁠⠀
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#anxiety #anxietyproblems #anxietythoughts #overcominganxiety #challengeyourthoughts #youarenotyourthoughts #innercritic #quarantineproblems #dontbelieveeverythingyouthink #anxietyrecovery #socialanxiety #mentalhealth #mentalhealthrecovery #selfcompassion #selfworth #selfaffirmations #anxietymemes #anxietysucks #therapistmemes #psychotherapy #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #therapymatters #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
96 21
Here's the thing... ⁠⠀
you can come from a family who loves you and still be suffering from the impact of transgenerational trauma or ineffective parenting. ⁠⠀
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Families are complicated. ⁠⠀
We can have a loving family, loving parents and still feel as though we didn’t get what we needed in our childhood. ⁠⠀
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Acknowledging that you didn’t quite get what you needed in the way that you needed it doesn’t mean that you love your family any less, or you’re ungrateful or that you don’t appreciate all of the ways your family did love you. ⁠⠀
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This isn’t about blame or not taking responsibility for our own lives in adulthood, but it does help us to understand ourselves and our experiences better 💙💙💙⠀
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#relationaltrauma #trauma #traumahealing #overcomingtrauma #generationaltrauma #traumainformed #traumarecovery #complextrauma #childhoodtrauma #toxicfamily #toxicrelationships #unhealthyrelationships #healthyrelationships #emotionaldysregulation #familydynamics #peoplepleaser #emotionalwellbeing #counselling #resilience #buildingresilience #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #therapymatters #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
101 7
In case like me, you needed to see this today. ⁠⠀
Making a decision in the face of uncertainty is scary AF. ⠀
We can’t predict the future but we can try to make the best decision we can based on what we know now. ⠀
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What’s your experience of making decisions? ⠀
Do you find it easy or hard? ⠀
Let me know in the comments.⠀
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#decisionsdecisions #lifechoices #mistakesarelessons #liveandlearn #perfectionist #giftsofimperfection #perfectionistproblems #lifelessons #overcomeobstacles #overthinking #emotionalwellbeing #resilience #buildingresilience #yougotthis #selfcompassion #selfwork #innercritic #blacktherapist #therapy #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy
90 7
I can't believe it's been four months since I last saw clients in my therapy room! ⁠⠀
(This is an old pic as I've made some updates since).⁠⠀
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I think on some level before the lockdown began, I knew it was coming and that it was going to be for a long time as I took the plants with me!⁠⠀
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I'll be back there very soon, but to be honest I don't want the headache of writing procedures and safety plans so I'll be sticking to working remotely until we're no longer super paranoid if somebody coughs or sneezes. ⁠⠀
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I'm still busy working online, which in the beginning I wasn't crazy about but what me and and my clients have noticed is that once you get going, you stop noticing and it becomes the norm. ⁠⠀
I'll definitely continue working online even when things get back to whatever the new normal looks like. ⁠⠀
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In the meantime, you can schedule an online appointment with me by visiting the booking link in my bio. ⁠⠀
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⭐️To book my special offer Therapy for Black Girls you can contact me directly for more information.⭐️⁠⠀
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#onlinetherapy #onlinetherapist #onlinecounselling #therapist #supportsmallbusiness #workingonline #therapistlife #workfromanywhere #workingfromhome #relationships #anxiety #trauma #mentalhealthmatters #relationshiptherapy #therapyforblackgirls #blacklivesstillmatter #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #therapymatters #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
60 2
Low self esteem can be silent creeper. ⠀
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You might not even realise that your tendency to people please is in overdrive. ⠀
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Or that that inner critic that tells you you’re not doing enough is getting louder and more frequent.
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Sometimes we need that reminder that we’re doing okay and we are enough. ⠀
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The same way we root for our friends, we have to do that for ourselves too. ⠀
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Making that conscious effort to self validate and acknowledge your wins is why I created The Self Esteem Workbook. ⠀
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It’s a reminder to love and appreciate yourself, that you are good enough and you are more of a badass than you give yourself credit for. ⠀
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VISIT THE LINK IN BIO where you can still get your discounted copy when you refer a friend. ⠀
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#selfesteemboost #selflove #selflovejourney #celebrateyourwins #personaldevelopment #empaths #innercritic #selfcritic #getoutofyourownway #whatisyourwhy #selfsabotage #dontbelieveeverythingyouthink #emotionalwellbeing #youarenotyourthoughts #anxiety #perfectionism #impostersyndrome #anxietyproblems #anxietyrecovery #selfworth #selfvalidation #selfwork #therapist #blacktherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram
67 5
It’s important to me that mental health is accessible and as well as having meetings with various people and looking at organisations, I wanted to see what I could do specifically to offer further support to black women in our communities.I am excited to offer my wellbeing package of 6x50 minute weekly therapy sessions at a significantly reduced fee of £180.
This is a 50% saving of my current fee.As it is significantly reduced this is a limited offer subject to terms and conditions.Tell a friend, share and let’s create more spaces for inclusion and healing 🙏🏽Send me a DM if you’d like more information.
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#blacklivesstillmatter #iseeyou #therapyforblackgirls #therapyforblackwomen #therapy #mentalhealthawareness #amplifymelanatedvoices #amplifyblackvoices #blacktherapist #emotionalhealth #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram
68 8
Low self esteem doesn’t always have to mean that you experience self loathing. ⁠⠀
It can also be in those quiet ways that prevents us from speaking up or making ourselves visible. ⁠⠀
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It can mean that you listen to others more than you listen to yourself. ⁠⠀
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It can mean seeing the best in those around you, but not giving yourself the same level of acknowledgement or compassion. ⁠⠀
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It can be the subtlety of staying small, or being scared to step out of your comfort zone and truly appreciating your positive qualities. ⁠⠀
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It can mean a lack of self belief and thinking everybody else has it figured out, except for you. ⁠⠀
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I’m a huge believer in celebrating your wins, which is why I created The Self Esteem Workbook, a reflective mini workbook that focuses on your individual qualities.⁠⠀
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It’s a lovely self esteem boost that reminds you of your personal achievements, positive qualities and doing more of what makes you happy.
It also includes positive affirmations that you can use when you are feeling less than. ⁠⠀
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If that sounds like something you can relate to, you can purchase your copy for less than a cup of coffee via ➡️the link in bio⬅️⁠💫For a limited time there is also a 20% discount if you refer a friend 💫Tag someone who needs to see this.
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#selfesteem #selfesteemboost #selflove #selfloveadvocate #selfloveclub #selflovejourney #selfesteemmatters #selfaffirmation #selfconfident #selfacceptance #selfvalidation #selfvalue #youareworthy #selfcarematters #selfcareroutine #therapyisselfcare #selfawareness #selfwork #selfworth #peoplepleaser #innercritic #impostersyndrome #emotionalwellbeing #emotionalintelligence #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #blacktherapist #newframetherapy
78 2
Drumroll 🥁⠀
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And the winner is.....@patternsandtriggers🎉🎉🎉⠀
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Congratulations! You’ll be getting a DM from me to arrange where to send your PDF. ⠀
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Thank you to everyone who entered, what a fantastic response! ⠀
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It was my first give away so I wasn’t sure what to expect. Who knew Insta could be so much fun 🤗⠀
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This won’t be my last giveaway, so keep your eyes peeled for more 👀⠀
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Have a blessed day 💫⠀
35 6
When it comes to self care, self awareness and prevention is better than cure. ⠀
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These are just some of the signs that you can begin to notice when you are approaching burnout. ⠀
It can be difficult to identify when we are in it, mostly because we are just trying to get through another day. ⠀
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Can you relate? ⠀
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#selfcareeveryday #selfcaretips #selfcareisntselfish #emotionalwellbeing #empathproblems #therapyisselfcare #selfcaretips #selfcarepage #selfcareideas #selfcareeveryday #selfcareisimportant #selfcareisnotselfish #selfwork #ultimateselfcare #takecareofyou #wellbeing #emotionalwellbeing #emotionalintelligence #therapyhelps #mentalwellbeing #resilience #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #therapymatters #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
56 3
There's nothing like being in nature and breathing in fresh country air.⠀
Stepping into the weekend with open arms and a cheesy smile 😬
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On another note, I’m still running my give away to receive a PDF copy of The Self Esteem Workbook 💫⠀
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It’s a mini self reflective workbook to give you a self esteem boost (low self esteem is not required). ⠀
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Check out my earlier posts to find out how to enter.
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Competition closes at midnight on Monday, I’ll announce the winner on Tuesday. ⠀
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⁠#giveaway #freebie #journal #selfesteemboost #mentalwellbeing #emotionalwellbeing #emotionallypresent #selfawareness #selfworth #emotionalintelligence #selfesteem #selflove #selfhealingjourney #selfhealing #selflovemovement #youareenough #selfawarenessjourney #peoplepleasing #impostersydrome #personalgrowthjourney #selfhelptools #therapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy
82 16
The negative impact of venting to the wrong people about your relationship. ⁠⠀In my latest blog I tell you who the best person is to talk to about your relationship issues. ⁠⠀
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You can read it by visiting the link in my bio. ⠀
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If you want some help with your relationship, why not get in touch. ⠀
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You can use the booking button in my bio to book your free telephone couples consultation or go straight ahead and book your online appointment. (UK only)⠀
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#relationships #healthyrelationships #trust #respect #love #connection #commitment #intimacy #values #attachment #secureattachment #lovelanguages #marriage #childhoodexperiences #therapyhelps #couplescounselling #relationshiptherapy #relationshipcoaching #relationshiptips #relationshiptalk #marriagecounselling #couplegoals #relationshipgoals #boundaries #healthyboundaries #onlinetherapy #stalbans #stalbanslife #stalbansmums #newframetherapy
44 3
⁠⠀
GIVE AWAY TIME ⁠⠀
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It’s my very first giveaway 🎉🎉🎉 🥳⠀
You can win my Self Esteem Workbook. ⁠⠀
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It’s a self reflective mini workbook that I use with clients as a lovely self esteem boost.⁠⠀
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It helps you to recognise your personal strengths, achievements, includes positive affirmations and acknowledging the things that make it wonderful to be you. ⁠⠀
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Perfect if you tend to minimise your achievements and imposter syndrome and people pleasing is your usual default.⁠⠀
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The winner will receive a PDF copy of The Self Esteem Workbook and guidance on how to complete the exercises. ⁠⠀
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To enter, tag a friend individually in the comments of this post. ⁠⠀
You both need to be following this account when the winner is selected on Tuesday 14th July. ⁠⠀
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And that’s it! ⁠⠀
You can enter as many times as you like. ⁠⠀
Happy tagging and good luck. ⁠⠀
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#giveaway #freebie #competitiontime #freegiveaway #freegiveawayalert #mentalwellbeing #emotionalwellbeing #emotionallypresent #selfawareness #selfworth #emotionalintelligence #selfesteem #mindfuljournal #selfdevelopment #selfesteemboost #selflove #selfhealingjourney #selfhealing #selflovemovement #youareenough #selfawarenessjourney #peoplepleasing #impostersydrome #personalgrowthjourney #selfhelptools #therapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram
41 63
There's more behind the reasons that you vent about your relationships. ⁠⠀
You can read my latest blog in full by visiting the link in my bio. ⁠⠀
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#relationshipblog #newblog #blogpost #relationships #healthyrelationships #trust #respect #love #connection #commitment #intimacy #values #attachment #secureattachment #lovelanguages #marriage #childhoodexperiences #therapyhelps #couplescounselling #relationshiptherapy #relationshipcoaching #relationshiptips #relationshiptalk #marriagecounselling #couplegoals⁠ #relationshipgoals #boundaries #healthyboundaries #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram
47 1
NEW BLOG POST⁠
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Why Venting Hurts Your Relationship⁠⠀
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In my latest blog I take a look at the implications of venting about your relationship and the impact of consistently speaking negatively about your spouse. ⁠⠀
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Of course, there are times when it's appropriate to speak up, but it's not always appropriate and it's not always the best way to resolve things in your relationship.⁠⠀
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To read the blog in full, you can visit the link in my bio.⁠⠀
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#newblogpost #relationships #healthyrelationships #trust #respect #love #connection #commitment #intimacy #values #attachment #secureattachment #lovelanguages #marriage #childhoodexperiences #therapyhelps #couplescounselling #relationshiptherapy #relationshipcoaching #relationshiptips #relationshiptalk #marriagecounselling #couplegoals⁠ #relationshipgoals #boundaries #healthyboundaries #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram
34 5
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HOW WE DISHONOUR OUR OWN BOUNDARIES ⠀
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Are you doing yourself a disservice when it comes to establishing boundaries?⠀
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You can want to have better boundaries but you may find that you’re getting in your own way. ⠀
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It can be really difficult to set boundaries with others when you don’t have healthy boundaries for yourself. ⠀
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#boundaries #healthyboundaries #settingboundaries #setboundaries #boundariesareselfcare #relationships #healthyrelationships #toxicrelationships #relationaltrauma #emotionalhealth #emotionalwellbeing #abusiverelationship #covertnarcississist #toxicfriends #toxicpeople #narcississtfree #traumabond #narcissist  #traumarecovery #healing #selfworth #selfcompassion #selfwork #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #blacktherapist #therapymatters #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
59 4
JOURNALING BENEFITS⠀
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Some people find it really challenging to start off with a blank journal.
It can be difficult to know where to start if you’ve never journalled before and you’re not used to it. ⁠⠀
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Journaling has a lot of benefits similar to therapy in that it allows you to have space to clarify your thoughts and is a healthy outlet to express yourself without the fear of judgement or getting it wrong. ⁠⠀
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The beauty of it is there is no wrong way to do it, it’s your own space to use as you please. ⠀
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You can use prompts to identify how you’re feeling, or use it as a gratitude practice, which also helps with anxiety and depression. ⁠⠀
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If the written word is not your thing you can be creative and doodle, or draw, it’s yours to use in any way that’s helpful to you. ⁠⠀
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I would love to give myself more time to journal but it isn’t a routine I’ve managed to get into my daily practice just yet. ⁠⠀
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What about you, do you like to journal? Let me know in the comments. ⁠⠀
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#journalinspiration #journalprompts #creativejournaling #journalingcommunity #journalideas #journallove #creativejournal #gratitudepractice #selfreflective #selfawareness #selfwork #emotionalwellbeing #anxietytips #anxietyhelp #overcominganxiety #emotionalintelligence #psychotherapy #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
37 6
THE RELATIONAL IMPACT OF TRAUMAWhen we experience relational trauma, it impacts our sense of self and the way that we view relationships.
This is not an exhaustive list as there is only so much that can fit into an Insta post.⠀
Is there anything else that you would add?
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#therapy #therapyhelps #talktherapy #seekhelp #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #copingmechanism #copingskills #unhealthyrelationships #healthyrelationships #toxicrelationships #healingtrauma #narcissistabuse #gaslighting #childhoodtrauma #hiddenabuse #therapymatters #relationaltrauma #traumatherapy #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #traumabond #attachment #dontsufferinsilence #emotionalwellbeing #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy
57 2
You have to get those moments of solitude where you can.
Those final moments of peace are bliss, even if you look a bit weird sitting in the car, it’s totally worth it. If you know, you know.⠀
Anybody else? ⁠⠀
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#selfcare #weirdhabits #stayweird #authenticself #selfcareideas #selfcareeveryday #empath #empathsbelike #ifyouknowyouknow #selfcareisimportant #selfcareisnotselfish #selfwork #ultimateselfcare #takecareofyou #wellbeing #emotionalwellbeing #emotionalintelligence #therapy #therapyhelps #mentalwellbeing #resilience #therapist #therapy #blacktherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
93 19
THE 5 LOVE LANGUAGESThis is a concept and well known book by Gary Chapman and can be a fun lighthearted way to bring back the emotional connection in relationships.
At times relationship therapy can feel quite intense so I like to mix it up and bring some fun back into the room because working on your relationship shouldn’t be all doom and gloom.
When working with couples I give out handouts of practical suggestions so there’s no excuse to get stuck on what to do.
The languages are:
Quality Time - Quality time without distractions or feeling rushed.Words of Affirmation - Offering your partner words of value and appreciation.Acts of Service - Giving practical help.
Physical Touch - The power of skin to skin connection, not limited to only sex.Receiving Gifts - Receiving well thought out gifts.What is particularly useful about this is that often we give love in a way that we want to receive love. But this isn’t necessarily the way that your spouse receives love.
So you buying them a gift when their primary love language is physical touch is going to miss the mark.
When you know more about your partner's needs, it’s easier for you to meet those needs and have a deeper connection.
My love language is quality time.
Do you know your love language?
Let me know in the comments. ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
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.#relationships #healthyrelationships #trust #respect #love #connection #commitment #intimacy #values #attachment #secureattachment #lovelanguages #marriage #childhoodexperiences #therapyhelps #couplescounselling #relationshiptherapy #relationshipcoaching #relationshiptips #relationshiptalk #marriagecounselling #couplegoals #relationshipgoals #boundaries #healthyboundaries #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #stalbans
39 10
BREAKING GENERATIONAL TRAUMA ⠀
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We carry the traumas from the generations before us.
Sometimes we continue harmful patterns if we are not modelled healthy relationships or good coping skills.⠀
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Other times we become aware of the limitations of our family histories and try to make changes to break our generational trauma and start the path of healing. ⠀
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I don’t know about you, but knowing that healing can also be passed down brings me hope and reminds me why I love what I do 💙⠀
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#lovemyjob💞 #healingtrauma #breakthecycle #emotionaltrauma #selfhealingjourney #collectivetrauma #traumainformed #complexptsd #generationaltrauma #generationalhealing #emotionalawareness #emotionalhealing #healthyboundaries #innercritic #toxicrelationships #toxicfamily #narcissisticparenting #healthyboundaries #innercritic #impostersyndrome #overcominglowselfesteem #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
282 24
When the world is in chaos, find your anchor to stay grounded and protect your mental and emotional wellbeing. ⁠⠀
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It’s so important to protect your peace. ⠀
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Do you have any suggestions that are helping you right now? ⁠⠀
Let me know in the comments. ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⁠⠀
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#selfcare #selfcareeveryday #trauma #traumahealing #healingtrauma #complextrauma #emotionalhealing #relationaltrauma #generationaltrauma #racialtrauma #protectyourpeace #ally #emotionalwellbeing #mentalhealthawareness #selfawareness #selfwork #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
40 2
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If I could be anywhere it would be back on these super comfy chairs reading a good book. ⠀
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This time last year I was having a long weekend with the Mr without the kids to celebrate our 8th wedding anniversary. ⠀
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I miss travelling but I suppose sitting in the garden will have to do. ⠀
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What are you looking forward to getting back to? ⠀
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#happymemories #precorona #prerona #prequarantine #donttakelifeforgranted #wellbeing #emotionalwellbeing #simplertimes #bookworm #therapist #therapistlife #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #stalbansmums #mentalhealthmatters #mentalwellbeing #findyourhappy #lovelanguages #healthyrelationships #creatingmemories
32 4
THINGS THAT ARE RELATIONAL TRAUMA⁠⠀
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The main area that I work with is relational trauma but the phrase can be a bit hard to digest. ⠀
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Unless you have a specific interest, chances are you’ve never even heard of the term, which is usually the case for many of my clients. ⠀
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I’m not a fan of using labels, but what using this term does is help to put things into context, which means I can get very specific about the type of people that I help, and my future learning for my professional development. ⠀
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Relational trauma is also known as small ‘t’ trauma as it is an ongoing traumatic experience that takes place over time.
It’s an event that impacts your emotional wellbeing and can feel like a psychological trauma. ⁠⠀
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Big ‘T’ trauma is a result of a perceived or actual threat to life, like being in a car accident, the victim of a violent attack or natural disaster. ⁠⠀
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We all go through difficult life experiences but don’t tend to necessarily consider them as traumatic life experiences. ⁠⠀
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Even in happy childhoods there are moments of difficulty or struggle.⁠⠀
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What do you think? ⁠⠀
Agree or disagree? ⁠⠀
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#therapyhelps #talktherapy #trauma #ptsd #cptsd #copingmechanism #copingskills #dissociation #unhealthyrelationships #healingtrauma #generationaltrauma #narcissistabuse #racialtrauma #gaslighting #childhoodtrauma #hiddenabuse #relationaltrauma #traumatherapy #traumarecovery #traumasurvivor #traumabond #attachment  #emotionalwellbeing #healthyrelationships #toxicrelationships #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
67 0
BOOK RECOMMENDATION ⁠⠀
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The Attachment Theory Workbook is one that I would recommend to find out more about your attachment style, it helps you to understand and build healthier relationships. ⁠⠀
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It’s written in a clear and easy to understand manner and there are areas in the book for you to complete.
This is useful as a stand-alone or alongside therapy if you want to learn about your own attachment style and work towards repairing an insecure, anxious or avoidant attachment. ⁠⠀
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I’ve been working through it myself and its been really helping me to think more about my own relationships. ⁠⠀ How do you feel about using workbooks? ⁠⠀ Do you find them useful or not really? ⁠⠀ (I have no specific links to the book, it’s just a resource that I like to use)⁠⠀
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#attachment #attachmentstyle #secureattachment #healthyattachment #relationships #healthyrelationships #toxicrelationships #toxicparents #toxicfamily #relationshipgoals #boundaries #healthyboundaries #childhoodexperiences #relationaltrauma #relationshiptherapy #couplescounselling #relationshiptips #therapybooks #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
81 23
I’m getting used to working exclusively online, although I miss the physical presence of clients being in the therapy room, this has shown me that physical presence isn’t the only way to work effectively. ⁠⠀
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The biggest benefit that I’ve heard recently is that it means clients no longer have to live in my immediate area to work with me and I can accept clients from anywhere within the UK.
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If you would like some support with your relationships and emotional wellbeing, you can click the booking link in my bio and schedule an appointment with me. ⁠⠀
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I’m pleased to offer: ⁠⠀
30 minute wellness checks if you are looking for one off support ⁠⠀
50 minute individual sessions⁠⠀
60 minute couple sessions ⁠⠀
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I also offer a FREE no obligation 15 minute telephone consultation on Thursday mornings if you are thinking about working with me but aren’t sure, or if you’d like to talk through how I can help you. ⁠⠀
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Visit the booking buttons in my bio or send me a DM if you’d like to learn more. ⁠⠀
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#onlinetherapy #onlinetherapist #onlinecounselling #talkingtherapy #healthyboundaries #toxicrelationships #personaldevelopment #emotionalwellbeing #therapist #blacktherapist #relationshiptips #supportsmallbusiness #workingonline #therapistlife #workfromanywhere #workingfromhome #relationships #anxiety #trauma #mentalhealthmatters #overcominganxiety #relationshiptherapy #mentalhealthworker #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy
42 0
😂😂 the struggle is real. ⠀
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Psychology Today asked all registered practitioners to post a video and there was a bit of panic - myself included. ⠀
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How can you make a video in 15 seconds that explains what you do? ⠀
It’s harder than it sounds. ⠀
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50 takes later and then just getting annoyed that it was taking so long I finally got a half decent take when I stopped trying to be a perfectionist, stopped overthinking it and just put something out there that’s just good enough. ⠀
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Any tips so that I can nail videos faster without 100 tries, it took up far too much of my time. ⠀
Let me know in the comments.
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#psychologytoday #therapist #therapistlife #onlinetherapy #onlinetherapist #overcominganxiety #onlinecounselling #talkingtherapy #mentalhealthprofessionals #emotionalwellbeing #therapy #toxicrelationships #anxietytips #relationshiptips #healthyrelationships #traumarecovery #relationaltrauma #selfworth #personaldevelopment #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #therapist #blacktherapist #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
58 15
The last few months have been heavy as a collective and I’ve been reflecting on the difficult balance between staying informed and having space to protect my own wellbeing. ⁠⠀
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It can feel like you have to consume all of the information, sign all of the petitions, read all of the books, and still take care of day to day business like some sort of machine. ⁠⠀
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It is EXHAUSTING. ⁠⠀
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There are so many unhelpful messages that we tell ourselves about not doing enough or not being enough, from the unrealistic expectations and pressure that we put on ourselves, or trying to fulfil the unhelpful expectations of others. ⠀
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In the moment it can be hard to give yourself that time to rest and at the risk of sounding cliche - fill your cup, but these suggestions are here to use when you can. ⁠⠀
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💙Do it with kindness, not as another reminder of something that you’re failing to do. 💙⠀
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Save it by using the ribbon tail or tag your friend who might be in need of a bit of TLC. ⁠⠀
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#selfcare #selfcareideas #selfcareeveryday #selfcareisimportant #selfcareisnotselfish #selfwork #ultimateselfcare #takecareofyou #wellbeing #emotionalwellbeing #emotionalintelligence #therapy #therapyhelps #mentalwellbeing #resilience #overcominganxiety #healthyboundaries #healthyrelationships #selfawarenessjourney #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #instatherapy #therapist #blacktherapist #newframetherapy #stalbans
58 7
It wasn't so long ago we were all posting images of "Be Kind" it’s a blanket term but how does it make sense to be kind but only if it serves you? ⠀
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It’s important to be kind even when you think no-one is watching. ⁠Just a thought. ⠀
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Add a 💙 emoji if you agree. ⁠⠀
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📸 Image Credit: @ohhappydani⁠⠀
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#kindness #bekind #kind #kindnessmatters #kindnessisfree #bekindtooneanother #actofkindness #compassion #selfless #kindnessiscontagious #kindnessiseverything #equalitycantwait #equalitymatters #weareallhuman #stopdiscrimation #standinsolidarity ⁠#counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #blacktherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #findatherapist #instatherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
65 16
THINGS YOU CAN’T DO IN TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS ⁠⠀ Toxic relationships are mentally, physically draining and feel like a lot of hard work! ⁠⠀ This can occur in any type of relationship, your significant other, a friend, parent or family member. ⁠⠀
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It can be a real eye opener once you become aware of a relationship that is toxic. ⁠⠀
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Side note: it’s not you, it’s them. ⠀
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Tag somebody who needs to see this. ⁠⠀
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#toxicrelationships #unhealthyrelationships #healthyrelationships #narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #npdsurvivor #npdawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #traumabonding #gaslighting #lovebombing #toxicrelationships #relationaltrauma #emotionalabuse #narcawareness #narcopath #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmother #toxicfriends #toxicfamily #therapist #blacktherapist #counselling #counsellor #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans #hertfordshire
121 0
I'm not advocating violence or anything, but..... ⁠⠀
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#justjokes #laughdaily #whodidthis #instafunny #lifeisbetterwhenyoulaugh #nojudgement #laughterisgoodforthesoul #laughterheals #whocanrelate #laughtertherapy #therapist #therapistlife #humanfirst #relationaltrauma #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #therapy #emotionalwellbeing #resilience
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WHAT IS GASLIGHTING⁠⠀
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Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation to invalidate, minimise, deny and distort reality. ⁠⠀
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It is designed to cause doubt and confusion and is a way of using power and control to inform the narrative. ⁠⠀
What that sounds like is blatantly being lied to, with⁠⠀
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- that didn’t happen, or⁠⠀
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- that’s not what was said, ⁠or⠀
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I never did that but if I did - it was probably your fault. ⁠⠀
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This form of manipulation often happens in toxic relationships.⁠⠀
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Gaslighting shifts focus or blame when you want to deflect and avoid accountability. ⁠⠀
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In this current climate, it’s also clear that it’s happening within the media and probably in the conversations that you are having with certain friends or acquaintances. ⁠⠀
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Do you ever feel like you’ve been gaslighted?⁠⠀
Let me know in the comments. ⁠⠀
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#narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #narcissistabuse #npdsurvivor #npdawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #traumabonding #gaslighting #gaslightingawareness #abuseawareness #lovebombing #toxicrelationships #toxicfamily #relationaltrauma #traumatherapy #emotionalabuse #traumarecovery #traumahealing #violenceagainstwomen #narcawareness #narcopath #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmother #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy
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⠀
NOW ACCEPTING NEW CLIENTS ONLINE ⠀
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If you would like some support with your relationships and emotional wellbeing, you can click the booking link in my bio and schedule an appointment with me. ⁠⠀
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I’m pleased to offer ⁠⠀
30 minute wellness checks if you are looking for one off support ⁠⠀
50 minute individual sessions⁠⠀
60 minute couple sessions ⁠⠀
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I also offer a free no obligation 15 minute telephone consultation on Thursday mornings if you are thinking about working with me but aren’t sure, or if you’d like to talk through how I can help you. ⁠⠀
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➡️➡️ Visit the booking buttons in my bio or send me a DM if you’d like to learn more. ⁠⠀
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#relationships #relationshiptherapy #anxiety #anxietyrecovery #narcississticabuse #narcississticabuserecovery #healthyboundaries #toxicrelationships #trauma #relationaltrauma #emotionalwellbeing #anxietyrecovery #therapy #therapist #blacktherapist #selfcare #emotionalwellbeing #onlinecounselling #onlinetherapist #therapyworks #therapyforwomen #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
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TOXIC POSITIVITY ⠀
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There’s nothing worse than opening up with how you feel, only to get these responses in return.
It’s unhelpful, shaming and most of the time it’s just pointing out the obvious. ⠀
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- It doesn’t mean that you don’t appreciate what you do have⠀
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- That you’re a negative person or ⠀
- You aren’t aware that somebody else has it worse. ⠀
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Pain is not a competition. ⠀
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Not every situation has a silver lining, sometimes it’s just shit and there’s no way to escape that, but you can acknowledge and validate it.⠀
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It’s okay to acknowledge all the feels 💙⠀
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It’s also a toxic trait to deny a person’s lived experience by shaming or minimising. ⠀
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#toxicpositivity #gaslighting #emotionalawareness #shame #shaming #emotionalintelligence #selfawareness #ego #compassion #selfcompassion #emotionalwellbeing #mentalhealthawareness #mentallhealthmatters #mentalhealthrecovery #relationaltrauma #therapistthoughts #therapy⠀
#counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
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There is a fear of saying the wrong thing right now. ⠀
I get it, you don’t want to get it wrong and cause hurt or upset. ⠀
Silence also speaks a thousand words, so what is the better narrative? ⠀
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It’s okay to speak and be corrected, at the risk of feeling uncomfortable you learn, you grow and it informs your actions and the way that you speak for the next time. ⠀
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It’s all part of the process. ⠀
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Just because I’m black and a therapist it doesn’t mean that I know it all, or that I speak for any other black person or person of colour, and quite frankly, I don’t want that responsibility. ⠀I can only speak from my own experience, and with that I can get it wrong or be misinformed too. ⠀
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It’s been a tough time all round so sending love, light and warm wishes to you all. ⠀
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After a heavy week I’ll be taking time to pause and just breathe. ⠀
I’ll be doing something kind for myself this weekend, I hope you get the chance to do the same 💙⠀
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#endthesilence #timeforchange #standinsolidarity #bettertogether #bethechange #takeaction #lovenothate #strongertogether #relationaltrauma #amplifymelantedvoices #socialjustice #spreadkindness #compassion #equalityforall #traumahealing #traumarecovery #selfwork #accountability #trusttheprocess #getuncomfortable #blacktherapist #therapist #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram
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**trigger warning** ⠀
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A lot of interesting conversations are happening, some are disappointing, but unfortunately not surprising. ⠀
Even though it’s not surprising, my heart is heavy at a lot of the content. ⠀
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I’ve added a trigger warning because a lot of what we are seeing is traumatic. ⠀
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It’s traumatic to hear the denial of oppression, it’s traumatic to hear that people are in denial that (covert) racism happens, it’s traumatic to listen to the stories of guilt of people who are not directly impacted by this using it as a reason for not knowing or doing better, and so I have to be careful with how much I expose myself to this. ⠀
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There’s so many things that I want to challenge but if I did that there wouldn’t be space in my life for anything else. ⠀
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There are people you can follow where this is their life work, but again, it is still a trauma so please bear this in mind when and where you are sharing your experience. ⠀
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Let’s do more than post a black square for a day. ⠀Black Lives Matter.
To learn more you can follow these amazing accounts ⠀
@rachel.cargle
@renieddolodge
@candicebrathwaite
@novareidofficial
@laylafsaad ⭐️If you know of other accounts then please add them to the comments and #amplifymelanatedvoices .⠀
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#equalityforall #humanrights #compassion #blm✊🏾 #socialjustice #oppression #selfwork #speakup #antiracist #ally #trauma #traumarecovery #traumahealing #therapist #blacktherapist #timeforchange #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram
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In 2020 we are in a world where I have to explain to my sons that there may be times where they are judged by the colour of their skin.
In the last 6 months I have had to explain to another therapist that their use of language towards another black person is unacceptable.
The conversations happening in the world right now are way overdue, black people and people of colour have been having them for our entire lives.
#blackouttuesday #blackoutday2020
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Got a question? Send me a message… I’d love to hear from you!