New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; St Albans Counselling

Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples in St. Albans, Hertfordshire

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; Counselling St Albans; Relationships, Anxiety, Depression & Trauma

Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples in St. Albans, Hertfordshire

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; Counselling St Albans; Relationships, Anxiety, Depression & Trauma

Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples in St. Albans, Hertfordshire

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; Counselling St Albans; Relationships, Anxiety, Depression & Trauma

Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples in St. Albans, Hertfordshire

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; Counselling St Albans; Relationships, Anxiety, Depression & Trauma

Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples in St. Albans, Hertfordshire

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; Counselling St Albans; Relationships, Anxiety, Depression & Trauma

Counselling and Psychotherapy for Individuals and Couples in St. Albans, Hertfordshire

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For Better Relationships

 

Do you struggle with not feeling good enough?

Are you kind to others but extremely critical about yourself?

Are you a people pleaser, even when it is at your own expense?

Do you need your own space to talk and be heard without the fear of judgement?

 

If some of these feelings resonate, then counselling can be the right fit for you.

A warm welcome to you and thank you for visiting New Frame Counselling and Psychotherapy.

My name is Lizandra Leigertwood and I'm an experienced counsellor and psychotherapist in St Albans, Herts.

St Albans Counselling; Lizandra Leigertwood Relationship Counsellor & Psychotherapist in Hertfordshire

 

I help people to improve their relationships, whether that's the relationship that you have with yourself, or the relationships that you have with others.

Therapy Can Help You 

 Improve your self awareness and develop coping strategies to improve your self worth

Challenge the negative or critical thoughts and behaviours that hold you back

 Become Self Compassionate 

Improve your relationships 

Counselling St Albans

My private counselling practice is based in Hertfordshire, St Albans which is easily accessible from nearby areas such as Hemel Hempstead, Watford, Potters Bar, Kings Langley, Harrow, Finchley, Barnet and North London.

I work with individuals over the age of eighteen and couples for short-term counselling or longer-term psychotherapy.

 

Individual Counselling

Focusing on self care, personal development and coping strategies for emotional resilience 

Couples Counselling

Improving communication and emotional connection in relationships

Relationship Issues

Improving relationships with family members and those who are important to you

Trauma

Trauma informed therapy for emotional abuse, healing narcissistic abuse and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress)

Anxiety

Practical techniques for relieving anxiety with a cognitive behavioural approach

Online Counselling

Online Counselling from the comfort of your own home

My special interest areas are working with relationships, anxiety and trauma. 

I am an integrative relational therapist, which means I am able to use different ways of working to create an individual therapy experience that is catered to you.

Through counselling you can:

  • Learn effective ways to communicate
  • Identify what your needs are and get them met
  • Feel calmer when facing stressful situations
  • Develop problem solving skills
  • Increase your confidence and self esteem

 

Maybe you want to feel better about some difficult family relationships and move on from past hurtful experiences.

Perhaps you feel that you react out of anger or resentment and would like to make a change, or you feel unable to make a decision or feel like you make the wrong choices.

I'm a firm believer in hope and the power to change, you don't have to go through difficult times alone. Counselling can help you to hear your own voice and make sense of what it is that is causing you distress.

Please contact me for a free initial 15-minute telephone consultation to discuss your individual needs and to see how therapy can help you.

 

 

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
– Dr Martin Luther King Jr.

About Me

St Albans Counselling: My name is Lizandra Leigertwood and I am a fully qualified counsellor and psychotherapist. I help individuals and couples to have better relationships in St Albans, Hertfordshire.

How Counselling and Psychotherapy Can Help

St Albans Counselling; Counselling St Albans, Hertfordshire.

New Frame

Sometimes we find ourselves stuck in the same or similar situations - perhaps you are feeling unsatisfied in your relationships – feeling used, unheard or just misunderstood. It can be difficult to expect others to change without knowing more about our selves and what we can do to sustain healthier relationships. We can’t always change the situation, but we can learn, develop and change how we deal with difficulty. Counselling and Psychotherapy can facilitate in finding a new frame of reference, which can reframe your experience, helping you to find clarity and understanding.

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; St Albans Counselling

New Hope

This is the first step towards help and change. Counselling can provide a confidential, safe and non-judgemental environment to fully explore your wants and needs. Together, we can work towards finding new ways to improve your relationships with others, and most importantly, your self.

New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy; Counselling St Albans Hertfordshire. Therapy for anxiety, depression and relationships

New Perspective

The therapeutic relationship offers a unique experience where you are able to develop personal insight and awareness. This is facilitated by understanding how past experiences can impact the present. Understanding our patterns of thought and behaviour can lead toward lasting positive change so that you can lead a happier and more fulfilling life.

Ready to book a counselling consultation? Please enter your details below:

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WHAT SHOWING UP FOR YOURSELF LOOKS LIKE⁠It's n WHAT SHOWING UP FOR YOURSELF LOOKS LIKE⁠It's not always easy and it's often messy work, but the payoff makes it so worthwhile 💙💙
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#progressoverperfection #getuncomfortable #showupforyourself #getoutofyourownway#doitscared #authencity #authenticself #healingjourney #selfwork #makeyourselfapriority #youareworthy #selflove #selflovejourney #healingjourney #relationaltrauma #selfcompassion #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
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Zoom in to get the real benefit of this gem.⁠ 📸This fab flow chart image courtesy of @nofucksgivenguides .⁠
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#calmthefdown #neededthis #theunknown #itllbeokay #laughterisrhebestmedicine #thingswillgetbetter #thistooshallpass ⁠
#counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans #stalbansbusinesses #onedayatatime #gracenotperfection #selfisolation #socialdistancing2020 #inthistogether #thistooshallpass #spreadkindness #selfcompassion #selfacceptance #selflove #copingstrategies #overcominganxiety #anxietyproblems
34 14
The little things are actually the big things. ⁠ The little things are actually the big things. ⁠
Maybe we all forgot this a little bit (or a lot) and can use some of this time to reflect and reset. ⁠
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#thelittlethingsmatter #appreciatethelittlethings #fillyourcup #feelinggrateful #practicegratitude #bemindful #bepresent #selfwork #uncertaintimes #wecandothis #thisshallpass #overcominganxiety #anxietyproblems #healingjourney #graceoverperfection #socialdistancing2020 #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
41 4
THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL RIGHT NOW⁠ ⁠ While we a THINGS YOU CAN CONTROL RIGHT NOW⁠
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While we are in this period of uncertainty, there are some things that are beyond our control. ⁠
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No matter how much we think, worry, or stress about it, what will be, will be. ⁠
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What does it feel like to focus on the things that you can control right now? ⁠
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#onedayatatime #gracenotperfection #selfisolation #socialdistancing2020 #inthistogether #thistooshallpass #spreadkindness #selfcompassion #selfacceptance #selflove #copingstrategies #anxiety #anxietyproblems #anxietythoughts #overcominganxiety #challengeyourthoughts #anxietyrecovery #socialanxiety ⁠
#counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbansbusinesses #stalbans
36 2
THINGS TO HELP ANXIETY It’s all about using wha THINGS TO HELP ANXIETY
It’s all about using what works for you.
If deep breathing isn’t your thing or you’re finding it difficult right now, that’s okay.
Adjust accordingly to what it is that you need in the present moment.
I’m going to be posting more on anxiety while we continue to navigate these uncertain times. .
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#anxiety #anxietyproblems #anxietythoughts #overcominganxiety #challengeyourthoughts #anxietyrecovery #socialanxiety #mentalhealth #mentalhealthrecovery #counselling #psychotherapy #onedayatatime #gracenotperfection #selfisolation #socialdistancing2020 #inthistogether #thistooshallpass #spreadkindness #selfcompassion #selfacceptance #selflove #copingstrategies #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
28 2
13 0
In need of some focused help with anxiety? 🌟In In need of some focused help with anxiety? 🌟In addition to my regular individual and couples sessions, I am introducing a new 30 minute wellness check in.
This is not a counselling session but can be used as a one off session to look at how you are currently coping and introduce further management tools for stress and anxiety.This is a great option if ➡️ You’re feeling overwhelmed and would rather have a space away from family and friends to get some practical support ➡️ You want to speak freely without the person you’re speaking to freaking out with you 😱 ➡️ You want to speak to a qualified professional who already works with anxiety ➡️ You would like specific advice that is focused on you. ➡️ You’d like some support but don’t feel like you need a full therapy session right now.
All sessions take place ONLINE so that we can stay safe and continue practicing social distancing.There is also LIMITED availability for front line key workers for a FREE 30 minute check in or a full counselling session at a reduced fee.
Visit my bio and click the book button to schedule your appointment or send me a DM if you want further information. .
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#inthistogether #socialdistancing2020  #onlinetherapy #onlinetherapist #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #wellbeing #mentalhealthsupport #anxietysupport #anxietyrelief #anxietyproblems #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #stalbans #stalbansbusinesses #counsellor #psychotherapist #mentalhealthadvocate
7 0
Take me back to the good old days... . . . #quaran Take me back to the good old days...
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#quarantinelife #quarantineandchill #simpletimes #socialdistancing2020 #virtualhug #uncertainty #anxietyproblems #therapist #therapistmemes #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #newframetherapy
22 2
Have you taken time to do something that can helpf Have you taken time to do something that can helpful to your physical and emotional wellbeing today?You might be making yourself busy homeschooling, or keeping everybody's spirits up, but don't forget about you too. ⁠Taking care of you is the best way for you to be able to help others. ⁠
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#selfcare #selfcaretips #selfcarepage #selfcareideas #selfcareeveryday #selfcareisimportant #selfcareisnotselfish #selfwork #ultimateselfcare #takecareofyou #keepwell #wellbeing #emotionalwellbeing #emotionalintelligence #therapy #therapyhelps #mentalwellbeing #resilience ⁠
#counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans ⁠
#onlinetherapy #onlinetherapist #onlinecounselling
24 2
Even more things that can help with your mental he Even more things that can help with your mental health. ⁠
Stay strong. We got this. ⁠
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#mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #weallhavementalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalhealthrecovery #askforhelp #itsoktoaskforhelp #supporteachother #helponeanother #bekind #resilience #buildingresilience #lifteachotherup #helpingothers #selfwork #support #strength #strengthinnumbers #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans #stalbansbusinesses
22 0
We are all in period of uncertainty, we want answe We are all in period of uncertainty, we want answers and something concrete to work with, but right now we are having to sit with the uncertainty. ⁠The not knowing can be tough, try and gently shift your focus on the things that you can control.⁠
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#uncertainty #overwhelmed #unknown #worrying #scarytimes #reassurance #talkitout #feelyourfeelings #yourfeelingsarevalid #vulnerabilityisstrength #selfkindness #compassion #emotionalwellbeing #overcominganxiety #counselling #psychotherapy#onlinecounselling #onlinetherapist #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
43 1
Just because we are physically distancing, that do Just because we are physically distancing, that doesn’t mean we have to stop emotionally connecting. ⠀
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#stayconnected #socialdistancing2020 #quarantine2020 #stayingpositive #stayinghomesaveslives #socialresponsibility #inthistogether #doyourpart #healthyrelationships #mentalhealthmatters #emotionalwellbeing #stalbansbusinesses #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #stalbans #hertfordshire
21 0
Since moving my practice online I’ve made some a Since moving my practice online I’ve made some adjustments to make the booking process easier. ➡️➡️You can now visit the link in bio to directly book an appointment 🔗Online therapy offers more flexibility, you can continue practicing social distancing and maintain your mental health in a way that is just as effective as in person therapy.
Any questions, send me a DM.
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#onlinecounselling #onlinetherapy #onlinecounsellor #onlinetherapist #socialdistancing2020 #stayathome #relationshiptherapy #relationshiptherapist #relationaltrauma #traumarecovery #narcissisticabuserecovery #selfcarejourney #selfworth #anxietyrelief #anxietyproblems #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapist #therapistofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #stalbansmums #stalbansbusinesses #stalbans #hertfordshire #newframetherapy
19 0
THINGS THAT HELP YOUR MENTAL HEALTH⁠ ⁠ This li THINGS THAT HELP YOUR MENTAL HEALTH⁠
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This list is not exhaustive as there are so many things that can help you with your mental health at different times. ⁠
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I hit a bit of slump over the weekend and used yoga and meditation to get out of my mental funk.⁠
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Is there anything here that works for you? ⁠
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#mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #weallhavementalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthadvocate #mentalwellbeing #mentalhealthrecovery #emotionalhealth #selfcompassion #onlinetherapy #onlinetherapist #onlinecounselling #therapist #therapistlife #relationshiptherapy #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #stalbansbuisnesses #stalbans #newframetherapy
16 0
BOOK RECOMMENDATION ⁠ ⁠ When one of you in the BOOK RECOMMENDATION ⁠
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When one of you in the relationship is not much of a talker, I’d recommend How to Improve your Marriage without Talking about it. The title is a good indicator of what to expect. ⁠
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If your partner immediately becomes distant or avoidant when it’s time to resolve issues, this is a good read for you. ⁠
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There are parts that are somewhat gender stereotypical, but it’s also good reading material that can help you to influence your relationship for the better without needing to have “the talk”. ⁠
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#relationships #healthyrelationships #trust #respect #love #connection #communication #intimacy #attachment #secureattachment #therapyhelps #couplescounselling #relationshiptherapy #relationshipcoaching #relationshiptips #relationshiptalk #marriagecounselling #couplegoals⁠
#relationshipgoals #boundaries #healthyboundaries #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
22 0
There’s a lot of advice going around at the mome There’s a lot of advice going around at the moment and at the risk of putting more out there, I think it’s important to acknowledge that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed and overloaded with it all. It’s a lot.
If you need a minute to find your feet and can’t even think about a routine right now, that’s okay.
One day at a time 💙
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#onedayatatime #gracenotperfection #selfisolation #socialdistancing2020 #inthistogether #thistooshallpass #spreadkindness #selfcompassion #selfacceptance #selflove #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
26 2
We all have a social responsibility to do what is We all have a social responsibility to do what is being asked of us.
There are front line workers putting themselves and their families at risk, so that we can all be safe 💙While mental health is always extremely important, therapy online is just effective as providing therapy face to face.
I am now exclusively working online, which means I am available to a wider audience from all over the UK which offers a lot more flexibility. ➡️Get in touch if you’d like to book a free 15 minute consultation.
For more tips on how you can manage your mental wellbeing during COVID-19 visit the link in my bio 🔗
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#socialdistancing2020 #stayathome #socialresponsibility #inthistogether #mentalhealthmatters #mentalwellbeing #onlinecounselling #onlinetherapy #counsellingonline #onlinetherapy #onlinetherapist #counselling #psychotherapy #selfwork #selfcare #selfcareeveryday #emotionalwellbeing #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #stalbansbusinesses #stalbans #uktherapist #newframetherapy
19 5
There are the doers who get stuck straight into a There are the doers who get stuck straight into a routine, keeping busy and staying proactive as a way of coping.
But there are also the observers, the ones who need to take a minute and digest what is happening around them. This is a little more me.
There is no right or wrong, just a difference in coping with this new (temporary) way of life 💙
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#copingstrategies #stressresponse #selfisolation #socialdistance #socialdistancing #spreadkindness #compassion #selfcompassion #selfcare #selfcarematters #mentalhealthmatters #gratitudepractice #selfawareness #selfawarenessjourney #onlinetherapy #onlinetherapist #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #psychotherapist #counsellor #newframetherapy
30 0
This is more true now than ever before. It’s be This is more true now than ever before.
It’s been a real shift in life as we know it for everybody.
This week, I’ve had to transfer my entire practice to working solely online so that I could self isolate and make sure I was doing my part in keeping these germs contained.
While I would do the odd session online for regular clients if they moved away or during travel for work, working this way exclusively is completely out of my comfort zone.
I had already started some self study some months ago for online therapy but had been taking my time with it as it wasn’t a priority.
How things can change in a week!
This is not my first choice in working, I much prefer face to face but it’s important that I’m able to keep this service going.
So, I’ve put in the time and research to make sure that I’m doing it in the best way possible that ensures ethical practice and will continue to learn along the way.
I’m giving myself a virtual pat on the back for adapting to change.What changes have you had to make to keep things going? .
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#wingingit #socialdistancing #selfisolation #onlinetherapy #onlinetherapist #onlinecounselling #therapist #supportsmallbusiness #workingonline #therapistlife #workfromanywhere #workingfromhome #relationships #anxiety #trauma #mentalhealthmatters #relationshiptherapy #mentalhealthworker #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram
21 0
We are going to be spending a lot more time with o We are going to be spending a lot more time with our spouses and there might be moments where it can feel pretty intense. *
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Being under each other’s feet when your relationship is in a good place is one thing, but when things are already challenging in the relationship 😱
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We’re all kind of just figuring it out as we go along as we’ve never experienced anything like this before. *
Hopefully some of these tips can offer you some practical suggestions that you can put into action. *
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There have been reports of a baby boom as a result of being under quarantine. *
On the flip side there has also been a surge in couples filing for divorce, I guess spending that much time together makes relationship problems that much harder to ignore. .
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#selfisolation #socialdistancing #relationships #healthyrelationships #toxicrelationships #couplescounselling #couplestherapy #relationshiptherapy #relationshipcoaching #relationshiptips #relationshiptalk #marriagecounselling #couplegoals
#relationshipgoals #boundaries #healthyboundaries #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
28 0
Introverts unite! How are you coping with the soc Introverts unite!
How are you coping with the social distancing?
I am a self confessed introvert most of the time and am happy in my own company but this - this is different.
I almost lost my shit today because I want the choice of being able to go out and I don’t like being told what to do 🙈For the greater good I understand the necessary restrictions and am staying home.Putting things into perspective I am extremely lucky.
I’m in good health, I have a roof over my head, I have food and a normal amount of loo roll 🧻I’ve also been able to continue working remotely with my clients and offer that continual support in such an uncertain time.
I am also super grateful for Netflix right now.
How are you keeping yourselves entertained?
Let me know in the comments .
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#introvert #introvertsunite #selfisolation #socialdistancing #quarantineandchill #inthistogether #bekindtooneanother #spreadkindness #communityspirit #strongertogether #therapist #therapistlife #onlinetherapist #onlinetherapy #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
50 2
There is a lot of crazy happening in the world rig There is a lot of crazy happening in the world right now. ⁠
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It can feel comforting to remember that there is nothing more important than connection 💙⁠
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That is what will keep us going until we get through the other side 🌈⁠
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If you are self isolating, find those little ways that keep connection going. ⁠
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#connection #inthistogether #spreadkindness #wevegotthis #socialdistancing #selfisolation #stayhome #stayhealthy #connection #belonging #humanexperience #vulnerability #acceptance #compassion #selfcompassion #kindness #bekind ⁠
#counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
15 2
RECOGNISE YOUR VICTIM MINDSET 🍃A victim mindset RECOGNISE YOUR VICTIM MINDSET 🍃A victim mindset is where you tend to feel powerless and feel like the whole world is against you. 🍃You might look to others for the answers as you don’t have faith in your own capabilities. 🍃This is also another position in the drama triangle, which keeps you stuck and lacking in autonomy.
It can feel extremely frustrating on both sides of a victim mindset, but it can really help to have a compassionate view about where these beliefs might come from. .
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#victimmindset #dramatriangle #breakthecycle #relationaltrauma #healingtrauma #toxicrelationships #powerstruggle #takeresponsibility #accountability #selfwork #selfawareness #healthyrelationships #boundaries #healthyboundaries #emotionalintellingence #therapy #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
23 0
CHARACTERISTICS OF A RESCUERPeople who take on t CHARACTERISTICS OF A RESCUERPeople who take on the form of the Rescuer in relationships are often enablers and tend to make situations worse rather than better. ⁠This is explained further in the drama triangle, where there is also the role of the persecutor and victim.
Identifying your role in the drama triangle can be your way out by adapting or changing how you usually respond. .⁠
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#drama #dramatriangle
#relationships #healthyrelationships #relationshiptherapy #healthyrelationships #toxicrelationships #narcissism #narcissistic #relationshipcoaching #relationshiptips #relationshiptalk
#boundaries #healthyboundaries #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
11 6
It’s completely normal to feel anxious about wha It’s completely normal to feel anxious about what is going on in the world right now. ⠀
I’m right there with you. ⠀
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These coping statements can help to relieve some of the overwhelm and keep you grounded. ⠀
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If some of these statements do not feel true, you can start by adapting the beginning to start with ⠀
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I am learning to…⠀
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And⠀
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I am learning that…⠀
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Visit the link in bio to read the blog in full 🔗⠀ Stay safe, people 🙏🏾
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#washyourhands #healthanxiety #copingstrategies #anxiety #anxietyhelp #anxietyrelief #anxietyproblems #selfcompassion #weareinthistogether #kindness #kindnessepidemic #spreadkindness #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #counselling #psychotherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
37 2
I thought this would be a post about how productiv I thought this would be a post about how productive my week has been but it’s been a crazy time all round. ⠀
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The dreaded C word has gripped us all, but let’s try not to panic and keep things in perspective. ⠀
Buying all the toilet roll isn’t going to help, but good hygiene practice and common sense will see us through.
Look out for those who are vulnerable 💙⠀
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I hope you’re not feeling too overwhelmed by it all and are keeping safe and healthy. ⠀
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#staysafe #keepwell #washyourhands #therapistlife #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #therapy #therapist #lovewhatyoudo #selfemployed #stalbansbusinesses #businessowner #newframetherapy #stalbans
35 4
SIGNS OF DEFENSIVENESSWhen you feel criticised, SIGNS OF DEFENSIVENESSWhen you feel criticised, you feel as though you are under a personal attack, and an automatic response can be to become defensive. ⁠
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When you feel under attack it initiates your stress response and spikes your cortisol levels where you enter into fight or flight mode. ⁠
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This can make it really difficult to resolve conflict or accept responsibility for your own actions. ⁠In the moment it can be difficult to notice you are feeling defensive until it’s too late.
I can be guilty if it too, stonewalling, closed body language or becoming argumentative are my usual 3.
Self awareness is half the battle, right? 😏Do you recognise any of your defensive behaviours? .⁠
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#relationships #healthyrelationships #adversechildhoodexperiences #toxicrelationships #toxicbehaviours #healthyrelationships #attachment #relationaltrauma #4horsemen #gottman #dramatriangle #communication #therapyhelps #relationshiptherapy #relationshiptips #relationshiptalk #relationshipgoals #boundaries #healthyboundaries #selfwork #selfawareness #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
29 0
Do you ever get so busy that the day just passes a Do you ever get so busy that the day just passes and you wonder what did you actually achieve for the day other than feeling super busy, but with no real tangible results? ⁠
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Try this as an alternative to your busy to-do list and just slow things down to regain your focus.⁠
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#gratitude #beinthemoment #bepresent #slowdown #focus #selfcare #selfcaretips #selfcarepage #selfcareideas #selfcareeveryday #selfcareisimportant #selfcareisnotselfish #selfwork #ultimateselfcare #takecareofyou #keepwell #wellbeing #emotionalwellbeing #emotionalintelligence #mentalwellbeing #resilience ⁠
#counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
31 10
It's just as important to be aware of what relatio It's just as important to be aware of what relationship green flags look like.⁠ Sometimes relationships are good for us, but our previous hurts make it difficult to associate relationship safety as a good thing. ⁠For some, safety and security in relationships causes fear.
Knowing the red flags and the green flags can give you a good indication whether it’s worth pushing past certain uncomfortable feelings, or if you need to consider giving the relationship a miss.
Other tips to remember: ➡️ It can feel boring or as though there is no spark. ➡️ You can get addicted to toxic relationships if that’s what feels like ‘home’. ➡️ Safety and stability are important in a relationship and that spark is likely is fizzle out fast. 🚫Don’t make seeking that spark or need for adrenaline to be the benchmark for seeking a good relationship. .
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#relationships #healthyrelationships #trust #respect #love #connection #commitment #intimacy #values #attachment #secureattachment #couplescounselling #relationshiptherapy #relationshipcoaching #relationshiptips #relationshiptalk ⁠
#relationshipgoals #boundaries #healthyboundaries ⁠
#counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
36 2
You can practice observing and acknowledging the f You can practice observing and acknowledging the feeling rather than denying or repressing how you feel. ⁠
Those pesky feelings have a way of catching up with you anyway. ⁠
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#allthefeels #feelyourfeelings #feel #itsoktofeel #emotionalintelligence #emotionalregulation #emotionalhealth #emotionalwellness #anxietyrecovery #relationaltrauma #healing #resilience #selfcompassion #selfawareness #selfwork #therapyhelps #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #wellbeing #mentalhealth #counselling #psychotherapy
49 2
Spot the relationship red flags. ⁠ Most healthy Spot the relationship red flags. ⁠
Most healthy relationships have ups and down and it is completely normal to argue and have conflict⁠
BUT healthy relationships are not fear based and there should ALWAYS be room for autonomy. ⁠
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#relationships #redflags #healthyrelationships #narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #narcissistabuse #npdsurvivor #npdawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #traumabonding #gaslighting #lovebombing #toxicrelationships #relationaltrauma #emotionalabuse #narcawareness #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
66 2
I’m not even sure if I relate to this more as a I’m not even sure if I relate to this more as a client or as a therapist 😏⠀
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#lafamilia #familydynamics #familydysfunction #fridayfeels #relationaltrauma #childhoodtrauma #emotionaltrauma #therapistmemes #innerchildwork #innerchildwound #traumahealing #traumarecovery #traumainformed #narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #narcissisticabuserecovery  #narcissisticparenting #counselling #psychotherapy #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
194 6
People pleasing is always wanting to appease those People pleasing is always wanting to appease those around you, always saying yes and finding it extremely difficult or near impossible to say no. ⠀
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Are you that people pleaser that always wants to be of service to others, but often at your own expense?⠀
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Do you find it difficult or near impossible to say no to others? ⠀
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People pleasing can form for many reasons, that need for validation and acceptance. ⠀
Not really feeling seen unless you can be of service to others. ⠀
Overwhelming guilt if you are unable to do “enough”⠀
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As a people pleaser the best thing you can do is begin to explore where some of your beliefs come from.⠀
Self awareness is a good first step in acknowledging unhelpful beliefs and behaviours.
42 5
Did you know that your therapy hour includes more Did you know that your therapy hour includes more than just the time you are sitting in front of your therapist. ⠀
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There is the constant research and keeping informed of up to date practice, at least monthly clinical supervision to manage caseload and ethical practice.⠀
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It’s so much more than just the therapy hour 💙⠀
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#therapy #therapyheals #counselling #psychotherapy #therapistlife #lovewhatyoudo #selfwork #selfawareness #selfcare #selflove #selflovejourney #selfawareness #selfawarenessjourney #healingjourney #healingtrauma #weallhavementalhealth #relationaltrauma #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
70 5
Not a single one of these define your worth 💙⠀
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#selfworth #youareenough #youareworthy #selfvalidation #selfvalidationiskey #goodenough #acceptyourself #youareworthit #selflove #selflovejourney #selfloveclub #innercritic #impostersyndrome #perfectionism #selfwork #counselling #counsellor #psychotherapist  #psychotherapy⠀
#therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
25 4
Celebrate a new business venture, learning somethi Celebrate a new business venture, learning something new, staying focused on your career, stepping out of you comfort zone. ⠀
These are all huge milestones! ⠀
Are you celebrating or acknowledging something you’ve done that’s pretty amazing? ⠀
Let me know in the comments. ⠀
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#celebrateyourwins #clapforyourself #acknowledgement #validation #selfvalidation #celebrateyourfriends #trustyourpath #selfwork #selfworkmatters #trauma #relationaltrauma #healing #growth #resilience #wellbeing #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans #hertfordshire
211 7
Ask yourself this question and see what comes up. Ask yourself this question and see what comes up. ⠀
I’m showing up for myself by staying focused on some of my short time goals. ⠀
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For me that means starting the week with getting organised and catching up with admin so that I can spend more time later focusing on client work. ⠀
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I’ve also had a busy learning weekend finishing up some CPD on relationship therapy and learning more useful tools for conflict in relationships. ⠀
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How are you going to show up for yourself today? ⠀
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#showupforyourself #selfmotivation #getoutofyourownway #shorttermgoals #challengeyourself #wellbeing #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters #selfcare #selfwork #selflove #selfloveclub #smallbusiness #selfemployed #therapistsofinstagram #therapistlife #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
19 2
When you need a minute to think about your existen When you need a minute to think about your existence and the meaning of life before getting dressed and adulting. ⠀
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#adulting #adultingishard #wingingit #laughtertherapy #itsfunnybecauseitstrue #mood #sundaymood #sundayselfcare #weekendlife #selfcare #existential #existentialmeaning #overthinking #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #therapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
39 9
I’m just going to leave this one here. ⠀ .⠀ I’m just going to leave this one here. ⠀
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#boundaries #healthyboundaries #expectations #relationships #healthyrelationships #selfawareness  #selfawarenessjourney #selflove #selfloveclub #selfwork #selfcompassion #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
10 0
Keep helping others, but don’t forget about you Keep helping others, but don’t forget about you 💙
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#selfcare #selflove #selfcompassion #selfcompassionjourney #selfcareisntselfish #selfloveclub #wellbeing #emotionalwellbeing #emotionalintelligence #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #counselling #psychotherapy #newframetherapy #stalbans
54 3
A safety plan can be a useful way to keep yourself A safety plan can be a useful way to keep yourself safe when you are in crisis and at your lowest and most vulnerable point. ⠀
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➡️➡️You can download a copy for free by visiting the link in my bio. ⬅️⬅️⠀
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It’s a good idea to write the plan in advance when you are feeling okay. ⠀
It may feel over the top or that you are being dramatic, but I promise you, you are not 💙💙💙⠀
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It includes UK National helpline numbers, and 6 spaces for you to fill in the details of people who you can trust. ⠀
This is what I use in my practice. ⠀
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You can use this plan or create one of your own. ⠀
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#suicideprevention #suicideawareness #youarenotalone #youmatter #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #weallhavementalhealth #depression #depressionawareness #kindness #bekind #inaworldwhereyoucanbeanythingbekind #counselling #psychotherapy #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
20 0
These are just 5 tips that you can actively use to These are just 5 tips that you can actively use to help a loved one with depression.⠀
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People with depression often already feel like a burden and will not necessarily feel comfortable with reaching out or speaking up. ⠀
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This encouragement will need to come from you. ⠀
Being able to listen without judgement is a big one 💙💙💙⠀
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#depression #depressionawareness #1in4 #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthishealth #mentalhealthrecovery #weallhavementalhealth #relationships #counselling  #psychotherapy #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
26 0
Unhealthy beliefs about relationships often lead t Unhealthy beliefs about relationships often lead to unfulfilled expectations and an unhappy relationship.
Your relationship is not supposed to be the one thing that brings you happiness - that’s a lot of expectation on your partner.Fulfilment comes from you, your relationship should be the bonus 💫
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.#relationships #healthyrelationships #trust #respect #love #connection  #values #attachment #expectations #secureattachment #lovelanguages #marriage #childhoodexperiences #couplescounselling #relationshiptherapy #relationshipcoaching #relationshiptips #marriagecounselling
#relationshipgoals #boundaries #healthyboundaries #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
59 7
We all get to choose what we want to be. ⠀ Your We all get to choose what we want to be. ⠀
Your past experiences do not have to define you. ⠀
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#change #changestartswithyou #selfwork #changeyourperception #reframeyourthinking #innerhealing #acceptance #compassion #selfcompassion #selfdiscovery #innerchildwork #healing #healingtrauma #transgenerationaltrauma #relationaltrauma #relationaltraumarecovery #narcissism #narcissisticabuse #traumahealing #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
69 2
If power napping was a superpower I think this wou If power napping was a superpower I think this would be mine 😂
I can’t function without my sleep, so a power nap is my go to.
I hope you can spare some time this weekend for a power nap 💙How do you self care? .
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#powernap #selfcare #selfcaresunday #selfcareeveryday #selfcareisntselfish #weekendvibes #mood #whatsyoursuperpower #recharge #reflect #counsellorsofinstagram #therapistsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
21 2
I had my first troll, does that mean I’ve insta I had my first troll, does that mean I’ve insta made it?
They suggested I google narcissism as my clinical experience and years of training wasn’t enough.
Out of curiosity, some free time and wondering if I had missed something, I did, and it confirmed what I already knew (through academic texts and journals, google isn’t even a reliable source as a reference) but they planted that tiny seed of doubt.
Even when you know your stuff, do you see how easy it is for somebody to make you doubt yourself, even for a split second!
Their next comment swiftly moved to them feeling sorry for my parents 🤷🏽‍♀️ I knew I must have touched a nerve or maybe they were having a bad day, who knows.
Was it a coincidence that I’ve been posting about narcissists belittling others, using ridicule, abusive language, fits of rage when challenged and having a fragile sense of self?
There might be a misconception that therapists have to take shit, but we are human first and as a person, I don’t take shit.
Luckily for me I know a thing or two about boundaries and blocked them pretty quick.
In future, I will be blocking without even responding. Narcissists/trolls hate that shit.
I will be continuing to post what I know, as I can see how many people it connects with, guess you can’t please them all. *Please be aware this is not a client in any shape or form. Insta is not a place for therapy.* #humanfirst #byefelicia #protectyourpeace #blockanddelete #authenticself #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #narcissist #narcissism #selfvalidation #boundaries #toxicpeople #internettrolls #healthyboundaries
96 9
Therapy is great, assuming you are seeing somebody Therapy is great, assuming you are seeing somebody who is suitably trained and who you feel able to trust.⁠
It's a big decision and an investment in time and money, so it's worth doing it right. ⁠
Therapy is still unregulated in the UK, meaning anyone can take a weekend course and call themselves a psychotherapist - scary times.
Check out these handy tips to find a therapist. ⁠
The main professional bodies ensuring good counselling and psychotherapy standards are BACP, NCS, UKCP, COSRT, BPS. ⁠
Therapists, if I've missed any others, please add it to the comments. ⁠
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#therapy #therapyhelps #therapyheals #therapyworks #therapyisselfcare #ultimateselfcare #selfcare #selfcompassion #selfwork #emotionalhealth #anxietysupport #mentalhealth #mentalhealthishealth #endthestigmaaboutmentalhealth #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthrecovery #weallhavementalhealth #counselling #psychotherapy #counsellor #psychotherapist #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
24 3
It's crazy that you would even need to save screen It's crazy that you would even need to save screenshots to prove what was or wasn't said, but here we are. ⁠
When you need to start gathering evidence, it's a sure sign that the relationship is toxic.⁠
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#narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticabuse #narcissistabuse #npdsurvivor #npdawareness #narcissisticabuserecovery #traumabonding #gaslighting #lovebombing #toxicrelationships #relationaltrauma #emotionalabuse #narcawareness #narcopath #narcissisticparent #narcissisticmother #narcissisticfather⁠
#toxicfamily #toxicrelationships #toxicpeople #trauma #relationaltrauma #counselling #psychotherapy #therapistsofinstagram #counsellorsofinstagram #newframetherapy #stalbans
648 26

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