Christmas can be a really exciting time of the year for some. If you have a toxic family full of tension and conflict, the idea of everybody coming together, to sit around and be in close company for the whole day can be enough to make you break into a cold sweat.
Christmas with the family can feel quite contained and the environment is quite isolating, even when the family dynamics are not particularly toxic.
The streets become eerily quiet and with everything on hiatus it can feel like a sense of being trapped, so it’s important to know what you can do and how you can survive a toxic family Christmas without completely losing your sanity.
The drama triangle: Engaging in the same pattern of destructive behaviours during times of conflict.
Do you find yourself stuck in certain relationships where you continue to have the same negative repetitive behaviours?
You have most likely observed this toxic dynamic within reality television (any pick of the Housewives reality shows, Love Island and Celebrity Big Brother spring to mind), after reading this blog you’ll begin to recognise it within your own relational encounters too.
The Drama Triangle is a self destructive, infuriating and an unhealthy way to resolve conflict.
Depression is the most predominant mental health condition worldwide.
The symptoms of depression include feeling extremely low for extended periods of time, low feelings of self worth, hopelessness, lethargy, apathy, loss of appetite and sleep disturbances.
There are also socioeconomic factors which can make people more susceptible or vulnerable to symptoms of depression such as belonging to black, asian or ethnic minority groups, young males, the LGBTQ+ community, victims of abuse, having learning disabilities, substance abuse and homelessness.Read More
When was the last time you openly expressed gratitude in your relationship?
Yesterday, last week, last month even.
If you have to spend longer than a moment to think about it, this is probably an area where you can begin to actively put in some time and effort in expressing gratitude with your partner.
I get it’s probably not at the top of your list of priorities, there’s your work/life balance to consider, the everyday household tasks, trying to keep yourself healthy, maintain a social life, maybe you have kids, kids that are so young that all you are thinking about is getting a good nights sleep, never mind telling your wo(man) what a great job they’re doing.
I get it, life is busy and you’re juggling more than a handful of things at the moment.
That doesn’t mean your relationship should become neglected or forgotten about as a result.
Toxic behaviours within a relationship can be one the main factors why a couple in crisis will seek relationship therapy or marriage guidance. When a couple is unable to break the pattern of conflict it is usually then that they will seek professional support to help them to navigate their way back to a healthy relationship.Read More
As a psychotherapist in private practice and a mental health advocate, I feel counselling is still stigmatised, largely because it is misunderstood, misrepresented and highly undervalued. In recent years there has been an increase in public awareness and an understanding of how important the role of therapy can play in overall mental health and wellbeing.
Despite this, there are still a number of common myths about counselling that either prevents people from seeking out counselling and psychotherapy, talking about therapy, or openly discussing when they are in the process of counselling.
There are a lot of misconceptions from the media and other sources about counselling and what you can expect when going to see a therapist.Read More
The term Self Care is becoming a common phenomena with many of its own hashtags #selfcare #selfcaresaturday #selfcaresunday are just a few with plenty of more out there in the world of social media. No doubt you would heard the term used before, but with all this talk of self care, what does it actually mean and how does it help people who want to look better and feel better about themselves? I often share with my clients the importance of self care and why it’s necessary to incorporate it as part of a healthy lifestyle whenever it is possible, including those times where there seems to be barriers or challenges preventing you from practicing self care.It can be particularly useful to those who are already struggling with mental health issues and find it difficult to identify when some of their own basic needs are not being met, no matter how small.Read More
Whether or not you are into the sentiment, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. It’s a difficult occasion to miss with every high street chain offering dine in meals for two, deals on flowers, chocolates, its rather inescapable.
You may have a heightened awareness of it all if you’ve recently ended a relationship and you are living with a broken heart.
Ending a relationship can be difficult, particularly if it’s not something you were prepared for or wanted.
This may sound extreme, but the end of a relationship is very similar to the grieving process and what that means to come to terms with and accept your loss.
If you are in a stage in your relationship where every discussion you have with your partner turns into an argument or disagreement, seeking outside professional help in the form of couples counselling might be an another issue where you disagree.
One partner may be feeling more hopeless about the relationship, for them seeking professional help is the last attempt before considering ending the relationship all together.
Show of hands if you’ve ever made a new years resolution, only for it to be out the window before the end of January?
Trust me, you are not the only one – I realised years ago that the real key to change does not only start at the beginning of a new year.
The truth is, ANYTIME is a good time to make change, it’s not about jumping on the bandwagon with the new fad and what everybody else is doing, but identifying what is right for you.Read More
Starting the counselling process is a big step, it might be that you’ve been considering for a long time that you there are some areas that you would like some help with. Perhaps you have suffered with depression, anxiety or low self esteem for years but you’ve been trying to cope with it alone.
Often, asking for help comes at a point of crisis, you’ve tried everything that you can but your usual coping methods that offered short-term relief are no longer working.
The good news is that counsellors are generally aware of how daunting it can be contacting a counsellor for the first time – most counsellors as part of their training undergo the process of psychotherapy and have experienced what it feels like to be on the other side.Read More