The Consequences of venting in your relationship; Relationship Counselling St Albans

Why Venting Hurts Your Relationship

By Lizandra | 10:00 am

We all use venting as a coping strategy when we’re feeling frustrated by the actions of another.
It’s not uncommon to vent when somebody has made you feel upset or hurt, we use this space to have our voices heard and to hopefully reduce some of the negative tension associated with the conflict.

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The Truth about Narcissism; Counselling in St Albans

The Truth about Narcissism

By Lizandra | 10:30 am

Narcissism has become a more commonly used term in recent years, being narcissistic is often thought of as vanity or being self obsessed, but the roots of narcissism and how this can impact relationships is much deeper than this.

The relational impact of being around somebody who has narcissistic traits can be extremely damaging to your self esteem, self worth and mental health.
Narcissistic emotional abuse is extremely common but it rarely talked about openly, fuelling the unfair feeling of shame for the person who has been the victim of this form of emotional abuse.

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How to Survive a Toxic Family Christmas Blog; St Albans Counselling

How to Survive a Toxic Family Christmas

By Lizandra | 10:30 am

Christmas can be a really exciting time of the year for some. If you have a toxic family full of tension and conflict, the idea of everybody coming together, to sit around and be in close company for the whole day can be enough to make you break into a cold sweat.
Christmas with the family can feel quite contained and the environment is quite isolating, even when the family dynamics are not particularly toxic.
The streets become eerily quiet and with everything on hiatus it can feel like a sense of being trapped, so it’s important to know what you can do and how you can survive a toxic family Christmas without completely losing your sanity.

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How to Escape the Drama Triangle Blog; St Albans Counselling and Online

How to Escape the Drama Triangle

By Lizandra | 9:49 am

The drama triangle: Engaging in the same pattern of destructive behaviours during times of conflict.
Do you find yourself stuck in certain relationships where you continue to have the same negative repetitive behaviours?
You have most likely observed this toxic dynamic within reality television (any pick of the Housewives reality shows, Love Island and Celebrity Big Brother spring to mind), after reading this blog you’ll begin to recognise it within your own relational encounters too.
The Drama Triangle is a self destructive, infuriating and an unhealthy way to resolve conflict.

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Toxic Behaviours in Relationships Blog Post; Relationship Therapy Hertfordshire

4 Toxic Behaviours in Relationships

By Lizandra | 6:33 pm

Toxic behaviours within a relationship can be one the main factors why a couple in crisis will seek relationship therapy or marriage guidance. When a couple is unable to break the pattern of conflict it is usually then that they will seek professional support to help them to navigate their way back to a healthy relationship. 

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The Power of Authenticity Blog; Counselling in St Albans; New Frame Therapy

The Power of Authenticity

By Lizandra | 1:41 pm

With the power of authenticity, we have the power to be our true selves, evolving, messy, complicated, loving and a whole lot more. 
We all have different faces or personas that we present to the world, we have different aspects or different versions of who we are, it’s a part of being human that we’re full of complexities and paradox contradictions.  
There’s who you are with friends; relaxed, funny, happy, who you are with your family; dependable, loving, loyal, who you are at work, professional, rational, reliable. 
These parts are all versions that make up who we are, it’s what makes us individual, unique, it gives us our idiosyncrasies, personality and develops our sense of self.

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Free Self Care Survival Tips Blog. Counselling in St Albans

Free Self Care Survival Tips

By Lizandra | 9:27 am

The term Self Care is becoming a common phenomena with many of its own hashtags #selfcare #selfcaresaturday #selfcaresunday are just a few with plenty of more out there in the world of social media. No doubt you would heard the term used before, but with all this talk of self care, what does it actually mean and how does it help people who want to look better and feel better about themselves?  I often share with my clients the importance of self care and why it’s necessary to incorporate it as part of a healthy lifestyle whenever it is possible, including those times where there seems to be barriers or challenges preventing you from practicing self care.It can be particularly useful to those who are already struggling with mental health issues and find it difficult to identify when some of their own basic needs are not being met, no matter how small. 

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How (Not) to get over a broken heart Blog; New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy St Albans

How (NOT) to get over a broken heart

By Lizandra | 4:50 pm

Whether or not you are into the sentiment, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. It’s a difficult occasion to miss with every high street chain offering dine in meals for two, deals on flowers, chocolates, its rather inescapable. 
You may have a heightened awareness of it all if you’ve recently ended a relationship and you are living with a broken heart. 
Ending a relationship can be difficult, particularly if it’s not something you were prepared for or wanted. 
This may sound extreme, but the end of a relationship is very similar to the grieving process and what that means to come to terms with and accept your loss. 

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What to expect in your first counselling session; New Frame Counselling & Psychotherapy St Albans

What to expect in your first counselling session

By Lizandra | 12:10 pm

Starting the counselling process is a big step, it might be that you’ve been considering for a long time that you there are some areas that you would like some help with. Perhaps you have suffered with depression, anxiety or low self esteem for years but you’ve been trying to cope with it alone.

Often, asking for help comes at a point of crisis, you’ve tried everything that you can but your usual coping methods that offered short-term relief are no longer working.

The good news is that counsellors are generally aware of how daunting it can be contacting a counsellor for the first time – most counsellors as part of their training undergo the process of psychotherapy and have experienced what it feels like to be on the other side.

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Couples and Relationship Counselling

By Lizandra | 4:58 pm

Being in a long-term committed relationship doesn’t come without its’ challenges. My experience as a counsellor and psychotherapist suggests that when couples seek the help of a professional it means that either individually or as part of the couple, you have tried everything you can to improve or make changes in the relationship without much change or success. Now you are at crisis point.

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